you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
