I think scott just propositioned me for sex
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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