just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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