i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
