Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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