Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
