just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
