You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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