Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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