I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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