I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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