I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
sex in a hospital.. check
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
