My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just googled if crying burns calories
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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