The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You're a waste of cheezeits
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
