Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
NoShamevember. You game?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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