that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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