so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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