Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
one two three fourrrrnication!
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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