I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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