It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
