I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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