Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
