You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
