her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
