Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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