You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Drunk is not a location!
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
