At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
