I love black thongs
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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