shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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