her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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