After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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