why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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