3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
