it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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