Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
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if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
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Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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