with your own penis?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Randomize
