Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
