Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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