Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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