New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
porn star boner night. come get it.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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