You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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