He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize