Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
It's like God shit irony all over that family
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
