If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
