Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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