So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
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