i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
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