I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm too high and old for this...
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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