I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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