Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
