just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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