His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
