biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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