Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
