so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
