Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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