Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
