i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
