The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
