I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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