Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
