Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
