I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Randomize
